Sunday, January 31, 2010

Weekly Weigh-In #51


I'm up 9 1/2  CAKES pounds.  Insanity entered my life last week in the form of a well stocked dessert bar. For the first two days I was there. I just thought about it...(constantly) and  then I let myself have some and I ate way too much.  And if it had stopped there I would have been OK.  But, then I did it again and again at nearly every meal. Something just flipped and I really didn't, couldn't get the control back...

Maybe I was too stressed, maybe I was too restrictive for too long, maybe I was tired of being hungry, maybe I was self sabotaging for some deep purpose...  I really don't know.  I do know that it felt heavenly and then it felt crazy and stupid.  It doesn't really matter why it happened.  I don't think it's really worth exploring beyond what I've done right here.  I'm really more about moving forward, I do know that what I need now is to cut myself some slack, accept that it happened, love me anyway and just start working toward goal... without a deadline.  I need to be really really nice to me, because I'm feeling really wounded right now and just stay the course.  I can do this... it's just time to wipe the creme-filling off my face, tie my cute shorter hair back into a kinda ponytail and get back to order and exercise and reasonable eating that will get me to my goal. 

I looked the beginnings of an eating disorder square in the face this last week.  It wasn't pretty and it wasn't me.  I mourned the fact that I have officially missed my 140 pounds  by Valentine's.  It's not going to happen. It sucks, but we all have consequences... I can take mine like a big girl.  ...well now that I've had a good cry about it, I can take it like a big girl. 

140 will happen and it will happen as soon as I am ready.  Back to basics...  back to reason... back to not feeling like all the desserts will drop off the face of the planet any second... and I do NOT need to eat like I am going into hybernation for the winter.

The truth is... I love the food I've been eating.  I love the lack of super sweetened desserts and and how I feel.  I'm enjoying finding the next healthy food and how I best like it prepared.  I love feeling energetic and thin enough to get around easily.  I'm not leaving anything behind... I'm just moving on to something better.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

A Date!!!

It's been over a year since we went on a planned dress-up date. We do stuff quite often but it's nice to do something planned that you can anticipate.

It was a very nice evening. We went to a dinner party with the plant management team at Dennis' work. Our good friends Roger and Trish were there and since I used to work there too, so it was nice to see so many people that I knew and had worked with. I also got to meet most everyone's spouse and that was nice. It made it a very comfortable social gathering and I was able to meet the new plant manager and finally put a face with the name.
The food was so good! It was at Christopher's, an upscale Steak and Seafood restaurant in downtown Salt Lake City. We socialized and ate in a private low lit dining room. I dare say everyone enjoyed themselves, and I don't think that's always the case at work related functions.  I enjoyed a piece of moist cheesecake that was better than most cheesecake you get, with a little bit of coffee after dinner.
It was a fun night out with my handsome hubby and good friends... couldn't be better than that!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Testing, testing.... is this thing on??

I mentioned that Kaylee is taking a Fitness for Life class online and that I was playing along...

Well, the first few assignments are tests of your fitness and cardiovascular health.
You do things like Calculate your BMI which tells you whether you are normal, underweight, overweight or obese.  A year ago my BMI was 31.2, and I was considered overweight.  Supposedly the health effects are essentially the same, wherever you fit into the category, high end or low end, statistically it doesn't matter.  You'll be just as healthy or unhealthy as someone at the other side of the category.   I really like the category breakdown that Dr. Halls put together for BMI.  This is a pretty good site for calculating your BMI and figuring out what you want to set as your realistic "ideal weight"  Funny, he suggested a higher ideal weight for me if I told him I was 193 pounds than when I told him I was 146...  by about 19 pounds!  A year ago my ideal weight was 153 now it's 134!  (Perhaps he's breaking the goal into smaller pieces, so I don't get overwhelmed?)  I'm sticking with 140 for now, till I know how that feels.  I'm not going to redecide on a number when I haven't seen it/ felt it in over a decade... or is it two?  Plus I believe your body has "happy number"s that it likes to hang out at.  One of mine is 153,  maybe another is 140, or 134...
You also take blood pressure, resting heart rate,  exercising and waist ratio measurements. -- All good here.
Last year my resting heart rate measured before I even sat up in bed was 90 beats per minute.  Now I can be walking around walmart and my heart rate is 80.  That's awesome improvment that makes me pretty happy!   My resting heart rate first thing in the morning is now 70 bpm!.  It's not the best fitness test, just an indicator.   Recovery heart rate is more important; how long does it take your heart to slow down to normal after exercise?  We're not measuring it quite like that in "Fitness for Life"(recovery heart rate 3minutes after you stop)... why not?  I wonder if it's in the book...

The class also has us measure our body fat composition.  These measurements are a bit harder to get... My latest in September put me in the Healthy Range (18-30% for woment) at 29%. I don't know what it was at it's highest but I do know that at 170 pounds  it measured 32% back in 2006.  FFL class tells you that you need to get a measurment, and  as a result I found out that we have access to a fancy machine for doing this up at the U of U and it is much more accurate than those home fat scales and the hand-held models you see see at home or the doctor's office.  Costs $25 and YES, we're that curious.  Plus it just seems so cool!!

The BIG test was the 1.5 Mile Run for the best time you can get.  Kaylee and I checked out the track at the Legacy Center in Lehi (Cost $0.50) to run on a warm dry track.  (Money well spent.) 

The time for woment 35-50 years old that is considered "good" is 13.5 minutes.  Over 18.5 minutes is bad and you need extra work on your cardiovascular fitness.   I landed in this "Low Fitness" with a time of 18.75 minutes,   Kinda cool, in a way:   15 seconds and I move up to a  "Marginal Fitness"  level.  Sounds like a good short term goal to me...  I want to be at the "Good Fitness"level, or at least feel like I am.   I'm not really interested in  looking for more than that...   and this is only one test.  I'd be tickled pink with measurable progress.

Oh, and I am currently capable of 1 pushup in 30 seconds...  and ummmm I don't really care.  I hate push-ups, lol.  So, I'll strengthen my arms, but I don't see pushups being part of the routine. Nope!!!

I am healthy, maybe not as fit as I need to be, but HEALTH is so huge!!  And it makes getting to FIT so much easier!!

Thursday, January 21, 2010


I realized today that I haven't done an update blog on my goals or  life in general in a while, so here it is for your viewing pleasure!

But FIRST!!!
I got a really great present that I wanted to share... related to my word of the year.
I am just so excited! Trish made this gem for me.  See how pretty?

This came in a frame as part of a gift basket full of goodies like scented oil and diffuser reeds, scented lotion, candles placed on a plate with some zen looking rocks...  Everything followed the theme, it was so cool!  I know, I know... a picture says a thousand words... 

The card explains that brown is the color for concentration and study and that the scents and colors of jasmine, amber and eucalyptus are believed to promote "FOCUS".  Everything is centered around the theme of Focus.  This is just too cool and very personal!  I've got all kinds of meditative, visual and sensual aids to help me on my quest to achieve greater 'Focus' this year.  Thanks for the Very Perfect gift from Trish and Family.  Wow!! I am humbled.  They love me so much! 

- Focus on Weight Loss  I've been working on the major goal to Lose 53 pounds by Valentines Day of this year to reach goal of 140.   I started the year out at 152.3 (Week 47) and am down 4.8 pounds so far this year.  I have 7.5 pounds to go to reach goal and have 4 more weekly weigh-ins to go. 
** I'm on track.  This is still very acheivable!!!

I'm counting this as a HUGE ACHEIVEMENT and a SUCCESS whether I hit the date or not though.  I am so ready to be there, to just be able to check it off the list so to speak.  One more sprint and then I can work on maintenance and break out with some fun healthy recipes and some cool active hobbies, no doubt.   So I'm looking forward to the slight shift in focus, accomplishing maintaining my new healthy weight.   I maintained around 150 pretty good for a good long time recently, (even though that wasn't really what I was going for...) so I feel good about what I need to do.  Happy to be down, and happier still in another 7.5 pounds.

- Focus on Fitness  Workout those CORE Muscles:  I am on hold for the Whittle My Middle Challenge.  I can't be doing too much in the way of strength training just yet.  Probably a week or two after I hit my target weight, I'll work on this.  Right now the focus is on Cardio health and overall strength training. Healthy FIT body here I come.
How am I doing? Well these are the CDC's recommendations for 
 Adults (aged 18–64)
  • Adults should do 2 hours and 30 minutes a week of moderate-intensity, or 1 hour and 15 minutes (75 minutes) a week of vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity, or an equivalent combination of moderate- and vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity. Aerobic activity should be performed in episodes of at least 10 minutes, preferably spread throughout the week.
  • Additional health benefits are provided by increasing to 5 hours (300 minutes) a week of moderate-intensity aerobic physical activity, or 2 hours and 30 minutes a week of vigorous-intensity physical activity, or an equivalent combination of both.
  • Adults should also do muscle-strengthening activities that involve all major muscle groups performed on 2 or more days per week.
One thing that has changed for me is that I actually WANT to exercise these days.  This is a major shift in attitude for me.

I have been doing "ok" with my Cardio  (60 minutes a week, roughly) and haven't been getting to  strength training at all.   So far this week I have 45 minutes total between the two days I've exercised.  Kaylee is taking a Fitness for Life class online and I'm playing along.  So far, so good.

Looking forward my immediate Focus is to see an improvement from the 2-3 cardio days and 0 strength days that I'm doing now.  Any improvement here will be SO COOL!!  Eventual goal would be to have the minimum exercises in on a consistent basis week to week.

- Focus on Healthy Eating... I'm loving my new books by Tosca Reno.  I find it all very inspiring and I love the focus on REAL food.  If you prepare your meals rather then picking them up at a restaurant or heating them up from frozen, then you're most of the way there.  I'm looking forward to getting my 6 meals a day on MAINTENANCE and trying TONS of new recipes.
So these are what I have so far...  I've read the main book (the first one here) three times already. 

This one's more of a journal, or log for eating...  with tips.

I have only browsed through this... It's on my "to do" list.
I just got her new cookbook for my birthday and I've nearly read it front to back...  LOVE LOVE LOVE my Birthday Present! Thanks to Kaylee, Kenzie and Dennis for paying attention to what I might like. Good gifting!!

Having all of these books do not indicate an obsession by the way, it's called FOCUS!  and I'm allowed.  :)

Focus on Finances:   Ummm.... I still WANT to be debt free, but I've made plenty of decisions last year that really demonstrate a lack of focus on the goal.   I'm afraid to run the numbers, frankly.  However, 2010's word is going to remind me to stay on track and give this the attention and make debt reduction the "central point as of attraction, attention and activity".  DAMN CHEEEEETAHHHHHH!!!!

I'm really enjoying iced tea in my new Iced Tea Maker with the "fancy teas" I picked up from Spoons & Spice with my Birthday money from Bea. I got a roobios (red) chai tea and a white green tea mix....

So far I have only tried the Rooibos Tea. I've sweetened Three quarts of Tea with three packets of Stevia and also had it unsweetened. Both ways are amazing. I had to learn to wrap my loose tea leaves in filters. It doesn't quite work the same as coffee grounds in a coffee filter... clogged up my machine pretty good with the second batch. :P

Also I'm trying to get ready for yet another week out of town...  Atlanta, Here I come!!! If anyone can find a legitimate way to expense a 90 minute massage for $190 let me know.  I would love to run the details past my boss who knows that I deserve the massage and would never begrudge spending company money on such an important necessity.  ;)

Well that's it.... Is it bad that I talked about so many different things?  Not really a focused post...  but it feels good to get everything "blogged" so to speak.  Thanks for reading!!

How I spent my Birthday...

There was EXTREME FOCUS on getting Kaylee's new room put together.  In the morning we had carpet installed.  
The afternoon was spent purchasing doors and a couple of closet organizers.  
Organization to the n'th Degree

Closet organizers for two bedroom closets. Assembly required...
One for Kaylee and one for Kenzie.  Well, maybe Kenzie didn't really need the closet organizer, she doesn't have much stuff here at her second home, but  her room needed it.  It will be good to be able to store the extra sheets for her "new-to-her" smaller bed.    I think she's pretty happy to have a Bedroom rather than a BEDroom.   The other bed took up most of the room.  Much better now.  (pic here later)
We got both Kaylee and Kenzie's room to a liveable and cute condition this weekend.   I'll have to post pics later.  There's actually still work to do in both rooms. 

Weekly Weigh-In #49

I thought I better do something to get my Weekly Weigh-Ins up to date.
I was down for the second week in a row. Yay!!! I've had to really be strict with my diet to get the scale to respond. I've "focus"ed my food list, eating small quantities of specific foods often. It seems to be working, so we'll just keep on keepin' on. I was hoping to stay away from having it so structured but if structure is what I need to get to goal, so be it.
To make sure I stay true to myself, I got up and got on the elliptical a few times this week. Sitting on my butt wishing and hoping I don't gain is not enough, I have to put ACTION to those hopes and wishes. We all have to decided what is important to us, how badly we want something, and how much effort we are going to put into achieving what we are after. If I FOCUS and make the time... this is doable. I am not 100% but I'm doing SO MUCH MORE than I have in the past. Some days I hate it, honestly, but most days I don't. I never ever wake up and wistfully tell myself, "If only I were still nearly 200 pounds...",   ...not one day.

This is worth fighting through the downer days... It's worth walking past the donuts, not having torte for my birthday, and worth making myself MOVE.
I want this. I deserve to reach and maintain my goal. I want it BAD!!!!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

What color are you?

 What my color says about me...  Take the quiz yourself!
Fitness Color: Saffron   

Motivation, Approach, Focus

Saffrons prefer an easy-going and casual lifestyle and are attracted to easy access to exercise that requires minimal process or advance planning. Keeping plans to a minimum provides more opportunities to enjoy the kick they get when life hands them the unexpected. For them, serendipity provides an extra measure of enjoyment and fun. Though Saffrons appreciate being physically active, imposed routines and schedules that limit their flexibility to engage on their own terms soon become burdens that inhibit rather than encourage physical activity.

Although their outward demeanor is relaxed, inwardly Saffrons can be intense. With a challenge in front of them, they apply themselves to the task with quiet commitment. Competitive—with themselves more than others—Saffrons are engaged in setting difficult and often physically demanding goals. Physical pursuits are in fact a great balance to their intensity, providing a cleansing relief from constant inner analysis, debate, and searching.

Independent, and often perfectionists, Saffrons are drawn to activities that require a high level of performance. Boredom can be a concern for Saffrons, and they find satisfaction  in physical pursuits that push them to higher fitness levels.

Saffrons maintain physical activity by finding elements of challenge, fun, freedom, and flow. They love creating a rhythm and keeping it going. Convenience is an important consideration—many Saffrons say it’s essential for making physical activity appealing. Every step they must take on the way to exercising is another opportunity to get off-track, so the fewer decision points between the idea and its execution, the better. With their intuitive natures, Saffrons can easily make the mind/body/soul connection and might be attracted to exercise with that as a component.

Environment and Interpersonal Connections

Saffrons lean toward outdoor settings for most of their cardio activities, enjoying the freedom and flexibility the outdoors provides. Although they might go to the gym for some of their cardio, many report their gym visits have a particular purpose, like lifting weights, for example. With their attraction to movement and flow, many Saffrons enjoy group fitness classes, if the music is to their liking and it’s fun!

Saffrons enjoy exercising alone—and with others, as long as the interaction is not demanding or confining. For instance, they might enjoy light banter with a running partner. It’s not unusual for Saffrons to train for a marathon with a family member or friend, but it won’t happen if there’s much to-do about dates and schedules ahead of time. Arrangements must be convenient and relaxed. Because Saffrons rarely consider themselves as part of a group, they deal better with a few like-minded people, rather than an organized gathering. For the same reason, Saffrons often choose unusual sports or activities, e.g. Ultimate Frisbee, Taiko drumming, or bouldering.

Saffron Efficients (INTP)

  • Saffron Efficients will seek trainers primarily when they want to learn specific skills or improve their performance in a particular area. 

Saffron Harmonies (INFP)

  • Saffron Harmonies seek to partner with trainers.  It is important that the trainer understands and is aligned with their values.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Here we are!!! 2010!!!

I am excited for the new year that we are in and seriously excited to be working on my new Word of the Year
I know that time is short with the daughters that are are still at home and I really want to keep some FOCUS in that area. Those girls are so precious and are really really close to moving to that next stage in life that when they ask for your advice,... they are just being nice.  I can't believe how fast the time is going.

I insisted on some family pics and I just love this collage!  Am I not SO SO Lucky?  What a great family?  (and this isn't all of them).
Since I started using my word last month I've learned that I am not done with SPARKLE... there's still something there for me, so I will keep it around until I feel that it's really done with me.  It makes me happy that it's not going away.
FOCUS is SO needed.  I am a die-hard multi-tasker, often to my detriment.  When I give something my full attention ... watch out....  when I spatter my energy in a million different directions... then the results are usually acceptable, but not spectacular.  Less multi-tasking.... More order and organization....
I used Christine Kane's exercise for Discovering your Word of the Year   (check it out)  and promised myself to get it all out there and not to worry about it being perfect...  The exercise itself helped, but the real epiphany came AFTER I did the exercise. 

The exercise asked about "triggers" that make you run away or act completely opposite from your word of the year...   I have to say that my biggest trigger is things not being clean and orderly and organized.  It is so hard to focus when your house is pulling at you to clean this, organize this, etc...  The HOUSE has got to get some real attention if I am truly able to find FOCUS this year.  In fact, some sparkle around my house is definitely called for.  I think the only area of my house that found sparkle was the kitchen sink.... not to undervalue this accomplishment at all!!!  This has been really nice and for any of you out there that "FLY"  with Fly Lady, this is the only part of her program that I have been able to implement so far.  Thank you, Fly Lady for my shiny sink!  It is progress.

I have a good feeling about the upcoming year and what my words will bring me...  Sparkle and Focus!!!  I just can't wait!!! The new year holds so much potential...  I just love the energy it brings!  Much love to all of you and the best of luck on your new year.  May it bring you all that you wish.

The big plunge...

Starting Weight 193.8
Week 1 194.2 - +.4
W- 2 190.2 - -4.0
W- 3 186.4 - -3.8
W- 4 186.2 - -0.2
W- 5 184.0 - -2.2
W- 6 184.5 - +0.5
W- 7 185.0 - -0.5
W- 8 183.2 - -1.8
W- 9 180.0 - -3.2
W- 10 183.2 - +3.2
W- 11 179.0 - -4.2
W- 12 177.1 - -1.9
W- 13 175.1 - -2.0
W- 14 171.6 - -3.5
W- 15 169.9 - -1.7
W- 16 168.4 - -1.5
W- 17 165.4 - -3.0
W- 18 161.9 - -3.5
W- 19 165.4 - +3.0
W- 20 163.0 - -2.4
W- 21 165.8 - +2.8
W- 22 162.0 - -3.8
W- 23 159.8 - +0.4
W- 24 158.0 - -2.7
W-k 25 156.4 - -1.6
W- 26 154.3 - -2.1
W- 27 153.9 - -0.4
W- 28 152.0 - -1.9
August 30, 2009
W- 29 149.9 - -2.1
W- 30 147.7 - -2.2
W- 31 147.1 - -0.6
W- 32 149.5 - +2.4
W- 33 151.3 - +1.8
W- 34 150.2 - -1.1
W- 35 150.8 - +0.6
W- 36 150.3 - -0.5
W- 37 149.1 - -1.2
W- 38 149.8 - +0.7
W- 39 150.1 +0.3
W- 40 156.3 +6.2
W- 41 153.3 -3.0
W- 42 152.6 -0.7
W- 43 152.6 -0.0
W- 44 150.7 -1.9
W- 45 152.4 +1.7
W- 46 153.0 +0.6
W- 47 152.3 +0.7
W- 48 150.1 -2.2

W- 49 147.5 -2.6
W- 50 146.3 -1.2
W- 53 151.0 +2.0
W- 54 149.3 -1.7
W- 55 144.9 -4.4
W- 56 144.1 -0.8
W- 57 140.0 lbs. Goal!!!!